Then you'll know what I'm talking about.
Seven of us went to the house of a schoolfriend for the weekend. Bear in mind we didn't know each other that well yet, all being new to the school, and in fact a couple of them I didn't know at all, but always felt slightly unnerved by them. The bottom line is, we shouldn't have gone. I did think twice about it, but went anyway. I knew it was a bad idea.
I'm being dramatic; it wasn't quite that bad, but I sometimes wonder if it could have been. I'm not going to go into details, mainly cos I can't be arsed, but let's just say no one died. Amazing but true.
Instead, let me list you a lot of snatched moments from that weekend and you can put the jigsaw puzzle together as you see fit. And perhaps write your own ITV1 drama. Imagine you're having a feverish dream, as that's how I remember it. And whenever I hear this dark and chilly song, I shudder somewhat.
Thank You For The Party/The Dukes
'What are you doing here?'
A spotty Austrian
My big fawn suitcase
'Let me out.'
'Where is everyone?'
Waiting for the train
First time for everything
The Virgin Megastore
Hazel O'Connor's coat
'Can we borrow some money'
Oxford Street crowds
Locked in a room
'Let's see if he's in. Please be in.'
Middle of bloody nowhere
Don't Worry, Kyoko (Mummy's Only Looking For Her Hand In The Snow) (actually this is nothing to do with it, I just like the title and had to write it down)
'Can you hear that? They're all at it.'
Shaun from Trinidad
'Can I help you?'
Malibu, Bacardi and lots of it
Misty taxi ride
'I shouldn't. But I want it back.'
Just What I Always Wanted/Mari Wilson
'What am I doing here, anyway?'
Kentucky Fried Chicken, to take away
Just me and you
Coffee table hell
I don't like you very much either
Glad it's all over